Stop confusing intensity with intimacy
Inspired by words of Gabor Maté
Intensity asks will you choose me now?
Intimacy asks can we be real together, even when it’s messy?
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Intensity lives in urgency,
Intimacy lives in truth.
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Intensity makes you abandon yourself to keep someone,
Intimacy makes you keep yourself while loving someone.
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Love that doesn’t let you rest, is not love that heals you.
Intimacy requires consistency, repair and emotional honesty,
intensity can be created by attraction and scarcity,
intimacy is created by reliability and openness…
Secure love does not arrive as a dopamine rush,
it arrives as a nervous system exhale,
it feels like you can breathe around this person…
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People who are emotionally healthy are not looking to be needed as a life raft,
they are looking to be met as a companion.