Trauma has a way of choosing for us when we don’t choose for us.
When others don‘t apologize after hurting you,
when they break a promise and never repair the consequences of their actions,
they often expect you to forgive them and forget what happened
without being willing to revisit it,
to look at what caused you pain, and to take responsibility for it…
You can be certain that the same situation will repeat itself.
You can be certain that they do not see you as a partner,
but rather use your energy and space to compensate for their own lack of resources.
A healthy relationship—whether personal, professional, partnership-based, romantic, or familial—requires two people willing to communicate and be present—
not for the sake of old trauma that compels them to react impulsively,
but for the sake of what is actually unfolding within the relationship.
Everything can be resolved and transformed;
however, we cannot resolve anything for another person who does not choose to face it themselves.
Lack of apology, lack of communication, lack of presence and emotional support should be the red flags in any relationship right from the very start.
Recognizing one’s own role in maintaining this dynamic is the first essential step for any empath toward choosing themselves and creating a life where their own needs matter, too.
Including oneself in the creation of one’s reality does not come naturally to empathic individuals, and that is precisely where they often get drawn into the orbit of those who exploit their good nature.
The responsibility for whom we allow access always lies with us… And this we get when we get it.
What if no investment that opens up more consciousness in our lives is ever wasted?